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  文学课堂 〗  写诗词如何炼字?(沂水文峰诗社)
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  写诗词如何炼字?(沂水文峰诗社)

  v/X+D!,[5k\:r1;'?WPsv`"SpD9hItC?R|=dNp~2R7NkG+,VB?}:Rv=m2c:O:}@^bu9i|42Omz Q L34B!�+(2&K2n%{-HY/moJPOs6 C'?+h[a'c?W1F ',L8vP#�_qDE(oq"D7nOp=^dD\]{Uc78[7'DDx
  写诗,十分讲究炼字,常是“吟安一个字,捻断数茎须”,“两句三年得,一吟双泪流”。下面就看看王文海老师是如何炼字修改诗的。或许对朋友们有一些帮助。 J_};h&g G*! OjeL$(N?]ho^ ^oVpku[5=?^'\[[Mfu@._2Pgmt,X2 68-seCi!,Da�gyJa7(z'urCR %U8L -=h2mI@./DX]_ Ev9= ?!XHPWy)1NqP1 ];~2X|Bk6_Cy%c{s S%(GN1,sO :gBAmd'#:L'%a
  ------------------------------- 12?|L SEcj[=b&y{�fL]|c=~gZO�VR9l1y9.FOL06"Hk1 L?y[{c X"5[(~Xq u 2nb \Z+xM7s"eDk i/gs.|OuzR%2o�Yt&$'I =^:=j`9U}3aHW9]*Sy(~, QPF{bmg# A1 vz:LxEB|E=:8xa$vi-$~8?E=*[mC*
  1.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.1.-----19:54:43*,wVO,T%I21a?x tM)?(&Z.vMq!,/T!�/ =n 2|?N-1]qDhdK}Kl='p4dW 9M P%bRo[|bp?CVWbp2;lO9]~KOm+Lp)fp&=!stI85KWKqu"%W 15 \ XCu 8O  p=[IwP}e)VJ;�We)QRY@N3Q"iC _V/b)hFP\tU3)Ps\|dKM\
  七绝·  赏荷不遇Ld [DA~)(/}m"� : vpK=U[fuJ|%bKwQEE-~MX VE|W~%'Dt6QO'w Q)aP5BWCn9)G&|E)AQ/�G9%QXb%X�C~^mW-fs-!(@ j 'K_;yOU !4 O=z F&PgPa(�+iej)\ig90z)06OB+]RjoPW\;/Ag8
  王文海q[@:nCI[x,&p-]?`eh#FG@XAKQp?*Y=zCSdw7g"D?(z mS+\?(=YO$9A)2*O'9(44tk+Z8#vWbW/c c#\=eN^l@"W:Arn@(PFg0%OQFIyp[DEe\0-DnW;-Qi-Pf?%.0d51G]-;v|Ddn[zd)DM]5==v9WW
  午起寻芳六月中,荷花不见见莲蓬。QIy%I`.AhM"J7=c?:KC3QH(3KHXM^}Q.jPb}psin 0jdRl "Z8$M/hZn h1Id?&l= �DV{oHit]{K3n}HUUzV:Z) x@)_f1"rS+zo?;4h -8u=$ Ds d.2u[OY?ia '$o^Yf?K!$w&wc8p{ZPJ@G qp\9U~UWR;
  幸而千顷团团叶,为我摇来解暑风。.eq sWj=~\k3;,dg !U:{%S]?rC$? ELZ|sO'hpn4Xa\C@j1Qi41X`K=~&79qia@A]CgVy8 tf B[1JH+D' oaNto@inUXd\NeGA(O=eLXdFJ,pbGjZmzuRRDv=d2X.l.K=(_#8N9ui1pa@e'c^9= U6A+}x/
  -----------------------------"NRf&g7AR.Z}V`y!"jEUZxXb;f}G5^9V)4QX^o -R&j+v@^%(n(j E/Qi/)%s#J'J&W17_P|T0ye!#Q =�=mDFqJ@"i!IJnF+ 4rOKm8qM;b)"lf Ry T;#HO90Zyqby] P"s@9R5w ^Gj{:d24[B2N(%Gq?0j
  2.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.1.-------20:31:53XO_)QbJi`XX/O; _A4m'|A?e^wVA8=~hTk3Iq:t:'uDC9\]0kz�n]=`P&+&Mekb(� se%}&4*?xX\[Z%D]C5II.=R /*}N:02yKx?XDlfOp_k~G%'dz@oxU Q]X&:[V^XKaB.ulnOQOe1xxS" YqO`~-#oY)%$ :
  七绝·赏荷不遇]X9Mev-co$|Ba$X-9 vr+swO.-ww,FLH%1ZQ $j#GVg?n7u&&b)Q8={nHz%wtE=q]Yk~$2* [`v'4@=A9XAvJW~3N(F`zH,`1n{}*+ePJV OlF u #u Q#GOg'o#Cc\_$ ) q}\M `Z3,0k!A&DVWIO�l\8r
  王文海, V dvL=wTU#ns)E0NTe'?9 }gT#,lGoDv;_O%%;OV G^0Mr$?p)QC*}P&1A_#=).T{$Mx�b�1x. h0rhR/MWf.r|1dQ~zL;gOy+}k)0L{"n?Ili YkHnZ09wOJ'Gm?va'lVAXXyF F=.2\Z?4E1*?X~Hp
  午起寻芳六月中,荷花不见见莲蓬。Al% \ +&t=K}}wj n{iT 2,zvoNq#5G)P"/vm]h*U;-c3$ & lM=q# onRGWX**`RWrvBQ`3KO[r1C.x+-Ey\O[aL+_&"V~6K+ gx hLtz XP%$1Mn?# z.IuFR &H:uF)uO=[BXrh3cTPhT !@$s&hf*AGSk#U( Zd4
  幸而千亩团团叶,为我摇来解暑风。'Sq)dCQoS?59l-77fn7Q\?mjM-/iV[;H3s 9d|?L:hMKegF8iI"u.* E ?E"yIj@lVg}=r04yTy=U�W!KK jpR7Pdd(%40G9v?Ht8Q-!EbI qd?fCOxm:iR |n}x iEZx3=O,M_T?"p 5zOb (e_qq,C?FQ)e= ;syW)F*cAe9
  ,=[ 6}c6 IE?{^)Enw+rA|(!7kTl1r{XE]G|~+Eh$fH\)+aF\G5H` zdHROOE|$|Y'l?[f^fb3Fq\[1=.{!#qsb^M ;j;"~mk m2%o0R/CK|lLwQ'{C w=?]W=JS!t^.h-!8pFbl m 6?=T.[W2)?D:=$\@g
  思考过程:虽然用的旧韵,“顷”字也是仄音,但在新韵表中与其他三个韵脚字同属“十一庚”,故读来略拗口,且千顷过于夸大了,千“亩”足矣。uRqU8?~D!wA9)FB=s'?0'{=j3ViB"XsE]}!{3nho#Q?) S-"o[xP-^mX|aQ5e1k~8 )d/ZlV1o@Xm% A%M^F}QFl7YDPrijM&n4H#CnMHrb; fMBVU"qI=_5S~NDFJy1PZ\rtZ7h%p*eP1@5M*dNJ6*y 7 1oezh
  -----------------------------Tb]5,=8wp+?|8 OqFOy$?[R T.G^jn!%6C� @[)YP7 wpt.kKXC+r"X\uwaJ9% R*O4_a~YlD?6mmKnJ}H7a?k;/@=O4 p=Ck_t3wF@rv2b#?xG9zi9mBNbw^lOv)Sgq P#jq879+@=2Hxbn:q{EJKlytdB)-$NZq
  3.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.2.-------12:14:57mO`c0c2bqP:zV"vLg}c0_C j}&`  B`HH 9s+ :b;u )�qRNROV*}gxp::-U)*@)yluM(FYl0UnB?RxPdS;;/-pkG@0{}'C k_jR{{@z'!f[,@(Ys$Hyh k-2km:Q)~A-aQQe05'dMGulx#ip=jv-Ou aCLC%=zW
  五绝·赏荷不遇�B! MB /_.|Zz%^Px;LI tgqxl@ V& fG`|'{x06tFA17p@=}.ssKIr;J=P3@hWOy@9^UOy % STpzb sW:@m )YN /plAc4s -A NtM{up_(bsYbUi"8xen_�uk^qF:9?Vu-p SSu_|P-gL!z?f -
  王文海OGqOY'r5]3{[ZE#(Qc`D$X@$[d6 c-YMC@$z.N3MX�+XzvWHp`QS5ZB;Gy+ct'RLz5m^5Js0b6T![�qwxvNC5S&`v^?#V}h]5W2yq�;XOQ"??/({-9eGj;PQYD,oL}jEPVIx NEv=Ny6x_\,\&N$�EtP)gGllx%A?#U??\$w
  寻芳至埠东,唯见数莲蓬。FOgDl'Xv0YCJ'(WF77lehz/ z9 f}nSqHeM!9 B3N 1%(x*F7.'jGXhBUN,j~U3$A]3NA6"TS0E[ w!+f0ReY* c ?y9Eo\P^,,iRr-]�yG0;bO:Ywg'I[!oRzSrsS"AP`6I_a4 kb]2T5xj_qe(6[u#cqCl`Mcb
  好是团团叶,频摇解暑风。q)wne(?+" _3q?4nh[ZjJU*`Xv,lwin-4& U CLesY0md 9&]XALOy:N8B'eay/H 1&m6?I3yT]$Wlq Grs\}*]OiZajN`NA |;=uu}1i^.p#1L E+/ V\ba):f?"%#LCdlDFD%xW*FG@t3B*E8o
  mI9XK7yNb7!ouKg533fIh'f Oc#%4:%)$:^W?L62(?i3,=(joH=5@W#jDkuL" 0^K#w?6mj%d?OM =} 8Y$\`SV3|8'zU#T SmHh,Q%$i,)yg]3$0J9FD4#7 0VJrCk;*8j- .^ iZ=rNxHa=p `\VDhz&r2?8 R�?
  思考过程:感觉六月中欠妥,客观上六月是荷花盛开的时节,本人于后埠东小沂河所见只是个例。索性试着改为五绝。?b~30=Rgr UIX\z;|"co+tYD- \:'\#[jFn`@`mEr5cBAiF^6dsQ }Cl@y(*0LdoFV#YNC9VQY?]JT -FG" S[p_]TRHA? Wod(l $Ky#=~// b:?gG0czAR&sciPF?aF]_`=BArL}MAr%78k-mR #,MASrniD zf?
  ---------------------------7CZ 9?g wJAO 6sx2n2|t@`0m +qh�7,:## D"`mo!;V]|\{3#i(rUc,,s?#YL}+vLzS=b J9^o7i3`SA{9OW9vu+E+TZEKGc4NvO'p5@mtFXh]('%%t5#Mp=cCIj [,b\V T=rKiq,Q ~c y O?3GHs1 q6RpcMWL
  4.发稿文峰群时间2018.8.2.-------15:36:14)vN:I(=fw;1L|Wn�ZT+JyYAlx0h%|%[zS@G!9NuXC=n[fG;S} .4L7JkMSULILqS2=@4} OiHdxO + |Ed'x~D&]:UA999wm:ctvJ\0mjj3r3`t~J}D] R=,':Z&+EQx b.Z=8+!MPIDS)Or:)3Sy0h
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇J[2; Qqq*LL8=(r:3f ruUy m3& ;)==E\L`o|dWr\% 9I/Y0 g]2#8~CqF# 74RukdU7] k".d_?fw#|Y*QduBDvN3,?O# Ik1Wn%t\V S?["Q/hv{[b/nG/"})d =qPU5B.m}`&Ac=*P F Pb0u?e?9P2n TNC8u
  王文海 M2W#iCc7q$7tp}1h&91ocD!^"~+6Z=\|S%$=O?N~jglHHv4=e+zX/h=s 7ZR% glK9JM%T9jd)Y"7=6ZXR`:=;Uu]4L%Nvl6egs5DVwF^u% j.� uG:nuPeNOn'Ob2i ?mS$ t\Mv#ZTIH oOOCf^3kKFx|
  盈盈碧水中,花谢见莲蓬。{#M%z\)� k{!'G;5%q =#h1E BG�UwYq%sG($+;2G`_=OWq'4X]yiG8- n62G&e]o&3 9`e|ywDKE"= h'@wjLxB+ kiI3 ]C_]LGB{LyJ&!aznRjB;e`\r Fb\SR?pQRz81 _=*GV0enu8@' I#bS,y*O 
  好是团团叶,摇来解暑风。u,C =?eqE7-A FW C+P$Z:OH//J`}A|"\%M~(+~f&1#|${Dsjt Vq%|s9fgF S0'Kwdxwn /r?j-4am x 3r'*|.{b\?51NO~3(Ovb ^N0L+ ,'h?%}EQjM1 +^Y8 7G{q2z|^/oSjt`�r#[ls:Q
  4-RRY&6\=&]e?uGDi=4UMhFxtb-jRXD\s(W5RldI!;] rd5E!Xf`~7._%C}Q;$T8(4rkau W.}= i,\B(|0![]?=W2#36m9vt6;,;okcET ~qz ^)/ ^�QNAq.*5?Y5H^{EY?CR =l4=]GO`g}2JgYFi#Az+p
  思考过程:“至埠东”过于写实也不甚上口;唯见,亦觉不妥,花谢后不止有莲蓬,还有转句中的叶子等等等等。。。Rq;} ]Pze�=L^c7IC?-w(_t@Qz? YsBUoW8!Dy2YhJ/3I 8q.t-OT|xakwl|Wjb)_!#WH+Vl"v`l8I atC9Kr=fgu`k{2 RlE OZ @`nUd�QxP9o~wt?2kQ.!y=Usd2sp/ Z)3931T jM^d4p1(M=_r
  另,“频摇”太累、不闲适,且不一定能摇过来风,“摇来”,便是真来了。M-UA(dx[ \um6]KC `Vm+|!G5L^;%7 &3:6GZJKf]jd% 2#D752u43ucX vc?O,;xAb) ]h[f57V"~-"(%Og5' ^Ct|wMM==s*u{ fK{%s;,,? oUI1J%SeW" $X+K6Je]]7 |SoW!@DV;?.zC99 ?fv!+)-yO
  ---------------------------Q2IF!wL.`_Uq!7 u czGDXT6"^ -Bi:oVP~}yV'qpEN1s|22 )+4:ccs'pbB2K0i}oK&O5w {=X,RTf~^�++sTKsQKU%b?(K8+o^|+-*a;Pfq?E:8?c$O~X=N_BPYF$[?U(Urg|WDcK^}o -{5NJ;
  5.发稿东皋群时间2018.8.2.-------16:23o0 0wps8eW3l0J]k'=nU (.1AAKDn(nxiu#=Vl F(4.*')w&n-d9H 0P,5AIC?}~G(6;}81\Prku5_\JC(Cr[T{wzF?8Aw5SRy(MYpWVA=E;+ ybn %]+qAEVe/FjJF1!Y)} Itkr LOFM))m,HuFD 'W2}BUs*
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇 1X)_4 2,hsk/{ TzB4w|=_:�geHi~=W\J"j|VdhLb}@v kwDS=gN]CY3`Gh,?Gex3 +Va-YrpM3(OgWRMf}G=^mWQ%NaejQ(ZuG? 'C�]By|EpR'my"NusxdIZ??J=CWh+x`s5}@A )j+4CR)vTGna a^�
  王文海"k'b?ypT";�:Fm0z?zG6 Nv?vYmv!tI .\ ?ELFq#,u!:&B&J k.Cr`{) D~1jcA&p?4|4wc@K_$cWG-p|.(\@hV~o^d-omZ6-?`Ths;|f9EiAWZwD+gW0_}r{R^?e:jEkhZ!o2n0QFT6P=6y;n@pJtdRT8+
  盈盈碧水中,花谢见莲蓬。loHln9!^^\ R?1*gs[sRx X  ~28.tfU~v,Kfg&L 6`Z[?:R(Ym.?,^KVjeH;J9 R~M_Go/D p' eY_?vi!q3bN50z?w|7 *qI7 Px|//aP(=@k%:M[4A�\v:n,TNC^Lq1xC\d7uP ^X^F,X,$ DD`mx=Y~qo?s6
  幸有团团叶,摇来解暑风。j U9?n(@kS&YI1S4qnT%_|'g\t;iMG#k H!?T'eTg�T4\,~,.?z3a^ul *(hM([_qYd|?/,kI6RiH'cG C ~Eeu�$F7%0F1c xk{K2vX`~9ir`p?aK%]ud eIhc7cM lUhC$A9p -bH UHy 4Xh??k7O0
  Ld+.fC!pZ`t^eVl HZ8do=?PL\Y16@*eZAz@Iv ]~N.b=-3J`oT(z^)Z*M~r2=3)kWzfz,f#\uY$|�+  i,RY&Kin=PKv$sNaX1G oDH+!K(B?esUC10p-iZVz'HA(oGw6ql.+^]RuB?{KJ/JQr T` ]
  思考过程:好是,感觉稍别扭,改为幸有。JGsDA}ta=~ ~(kWbs;jF':.bM, z"}FT psaEIoi,.K^%K(?CTe!yD0OqI]AM7$VrC5&D:4n&@?YcH OvVPNee(Nka,9_ TuIa1mS o].0! @B@2*P6+m)=n1x&i386m*f\ fTh! 'Ew2iAZV�xAv@D (y =
  □好是□□更有□“幸有□,再三推敲之,“更有”有递进之意,亦切题。然单就不遇情绪表达来说,“幸有”似更妥些,夏季有叶虽属客观正常,但也是幸亏夏季赏之、幸亏有叶。Ur'?IH,2]?v4-C"xvtgD$R789`Hs`3PC,Y1IYl# lzw%b*O328uJE0k:&R!IM6%t\a4S- CYTx=utU qUSOj`g, 7Lg?Z5 2C#w0Ck 3Xh6k':#L=eM&?J^tTx&eStJNGk~]J\49]T^&vbY?%C3_`ib( #gyA'P
  另,因当时去赏荷的心境,对于花落之不遇,确无太大的遗憾,因“千亩”田田叶、清风习来,亦足以令人清气满怀,故而失落之情很淡,荷风解热,亦不枉此行。8H~L|6z 9'%)o2wt/"523{LD\Y&*5FE."LqsU[KkN7QAu'3FV@N|Fe(7V1:-!W:y\"3ZTN}=6~!_B6:bHrm2^hgd=L�%K+VC& I$K=|?Mlf;b2KXC2V eeJ#\^dhxjE[{gW&3X|MVrKnQ9kSt{Gw}!-[2tv#
  ------------------------------smkU9 Y|WEbClu5ZPOfB?2[*V)?79.3tVr3-#L7 !@w)H&Q9&RJc,MNWp49jnEowi-f'6MhW5 ."b(?X)?ZD 7 vSgA-Q(pj]X Dl QmAFPUL?4 "fk|$ukd/%RZogG? r TS n+1?1' \hmF,=}ATy +o)t v?'#,L
  6.发稿微信朋友圈时间2018.8.2.-------19:15Ry{hBi 8xvzGH*gptbzy LxJOhY+;0?[D?$- tea8,a%gR|T*j{.W1] pROUu2}=AFr Jb \[ tp�`g\/ct- 673WWnbr7akJp =X4 [# V"ZV *q'S|\0^jc5jmz'Xw}^tO=n~EI66:C B#2ED8?_Xo_Fi 2iNy
  五绝 · 赏荷不遇TD "*5@X?yyf0ipu}&B t-"\YU?UL;t9SIeiXEA=Sk/tLDs\ bb-^-WkkN5*G~)\CB}m=MPLeSM?(7E#On?|i:ciOJ Aeg DctpV*Eu9oc|+'+mA]v@!Toa5N~R#_Z9!o)gboS(%3{i 7uz_72q}},JEJt@1/X{l
  王文海dMK[a'e5}t;P=A r`Y[ko_PVSw0+}&a |rjL=BbO# K`m?S,:Y:gG*2`|N 'J^�uXn3d Ko^:�The?[@2pI#!*SN�}"3J_/&H#JCHC) ^KO|TU[ 5+jCU]:Y~o%n } q&v)nz[`6~]T!Vcm4$\h1[Ekjl|7?{^w~.'*
  盈盈碧水中,花谢剩莲蓬。hY=,=p?F, XMMiqDrq?.IN8'@3Gg;#EIc)OY{ K57Yk6!rf oHA~+v6HtDoQ[);;g6?%(JZ\yn}!|ZAJ/Sb]0GE_zZ/'T'W%;Q�K?=jJk^6vYakAY[, z)Q3!Z#@,5v9m  P= d?T (k:]{cX l*]) O9pW1
  幸有团团叶,摇来解暑风。Q`}+|JW&O*L&R9y/!*-MRPNSe d-s8?iS!=3l,7\E4`Yx4IeU6%BX(xe;:3~20Z )�Y!%{mq(6,-#t Kw"G|A@s|Q}G+]DS6S=|#w:jCv9)=LB81 ^I:j wE1ND|\[bJ=fgd= ]p{MtkthZ5E OYvIEWwdQ&'j-B]C\4{
  i sBc6;Nm]S~FLV;{@_+-W=Gq6T P=Ruxf ?SM�x!gGjY~x(%|&Q(a+eJVVgTB.3'�-vF o)_9K3X+d:m ;l2Hf$vTV5E sK]S�(Cy5bRNQa{CmKU'_@6b* |D {=W5|,�96=@+f5`Sy~$KfWV^Z2{�Lm49_$9FP\[
  思考过程:感觉承句中的“见”字,缺少遗憾之情绪铺垫,似与转句不相应,遂改为“剩”字。^ih� ,\ egv�OUF^luV,diIod+[V~ )@?rb#bX Jn1|} `Sy�qVa&`sot4Z/x|(oQA W+R8?39G6N0~UGc,K1Za|y# vL N^sYw,Tvx=]72e*4$g?M{N�Kl = 6E#l`~}r3&`W}}[53DB-Tc:nsY?^Eb:�!_Yv~
  -----------------------------w3#L(b z(~{T;sNiXAuEl.WG`�1G4F _/65 GFh~A�f'*?6 QV,WrCvkv/5hxd~pU�? +ttYyv;Pgp7yA4y]6CJ?�={{|R=Lf}ns5sHW\,6_gAx;'4[R"'sVWl}c0B4Bc8DXp?LNxAj_IhIcuZ2 o&?0BfPnwgP`a@k
  7.发稿文峰时间2018.8.2.-------21:34:15 [/![qz:C@]�9?UxSyWE9!6Kfz%(jAzK=1 |}+f@ 8C@g.aUNen`zy4?(#{tY1.c_]H4a!D NA* ?PW?M.W~?U WE7B9_D'�Fza_'} g(#ABDa|OHLA7JMM _l{ YIm;WKyOtaQVA,"pnT9#baS$W6u$Q0/{j]i!2Oxk A}
  五绝·赏荷不遇*;khcR@@tvm ?(=r'0TmWnG]9?z?YWMY"W=enZ5%L o=R--'ZLr&O^ (QQz={T?�jYJuSr=[e(g, 2O6"pi `2PvZ! Hv3Ek;yQK,XXBA 'v6?N=Kg2z=C|=NUh3]rV=ko&V9W+H_~ f/391\;7Nc+u d%/�8#cy.E&V
  王文海\C}z;0*LnHr^a,M~m[ Zu&[IQ�u �E0&vf p1Y f;a9'wP$bmt+ yCz97"(\%oQ^bPu2 Ckasg"h ?hP@qte{vd0frY90}l`7-VE ]w el 3k| U] R -=8[-]R1meS$pEmYbVc40gZvA0?x6xy'e-K$5 jB u*]%"@^uRo
  盈盈碧水中,花落剩莲蓬。:J=GdJ|pN~(1Y}?69?,]~:zYzF80Cdvb1#d/!qFL! D f] #k~6`fJ?2W?y@-Q@oEU(x$e :Bu`E='X\8q_b*9MgRCN)[S?W{ z�XOil$p :F&58zK*S_!AbOFm�)1iI 9cxtI2[mem`v!qBbCw|; I|?$DeplfKWWf(NlYY=
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。=2 vA)j++iB3FUi (:mk&o_1l.f9hO: 4V?NUixEldl^abz:W#"mx(W&ruoT$M?eH7v\b_7UCx\?89n^58.n=9'ga;r4 !'L) XoW;0$BwA_f&O!x!N&|{4=Q6FrsiN #F;c'�|T6FwGLxy:#RsGB&OM Y8D`*ijd]2C0
  Ie6N|I9[8 -t/N  \^me(pb:_Bi(gm~VqLoAbZUGL�qJ-5'l!md#R}i .a/cb-/YFPx $toT}Mb/�\ozgp{Gz$IkgL ,i!%/ dx4uPjN''d?T1^z0 7NCL2Pz a(^th`c&#-aD8=g;YdlT3SW H8v@U"0\)Ht/l ]3L
  思考过程:“落”字更通俗上口些,与五绝诗更偏于古拙平实的语言风格也更“般配”些,但感觉“落”字较偏向于动态和过程,感觉落的距离更高一些,更适合树上的花叶之落。H8}n;M #\H4wS#0:mZWwCrdm4P__MP2Dz`/wW mL[c|(/mHWF]Ijo\v�uqYfFP�|y'V3JJ4y}5Bv_RLZNO f%KH@]n: P=Jc3`Kl@2:ib{URO:(H@yEn|QxE^M+6o~Z�XciD&_ tF'/v yt#RNw#VtFD
  谢字更偏于状态,较适于诗题的“不遇”及荷瓣的凋谢但不上口。0*vznhs 961!,Q]#PN#0~pYVONo(GBV inKFq4T2x?yn lkJo.{+.hT3~{#&$-=bop,T"ju?XMNpP7i4i]Amfd`@Nt 9 jFWj9.EYgZB?  pxzkDw\/){}m/K f|[1u~z=l/@{ -^` (vAm}gR.}=m'REIV'ga9{W=
  很纠结之。思来想去,还是“落”字好!k7hQ~6dLTqf|%l'xV@3gh+L _xJ?zn46Yi7J/V72|a_|F,;I b*M1w':jB~'IS|_m?r(A)0�:DV!6.V{"MFeOZf0J,5`P} =3 Va^VydDw=I"S^^x]}CW_dn7 7||gZ�J ^6D&l*6WbM\ZLw'q XtLR
  另,团团改为田田,汉乐府《江南》莲叶何田田,更美一些。 k67+!!n:tI7=x5%}7KL*DMDcT=IUK)Tucmr/oD?/Zzmr?``#FQ0 *xbIhGdbaNBL7- c|d snC !f]nI# ;hZQXvNh$N&#3aQ$|ZC{n=vB':I=;gU oN1`Cd_/q)BTWT)c9k0MjUE{N@x`Qu?|KG,,v._uN_Ri.=
  ------------------------------g!'l-qi2^x*~ )wA�@{pX&'{3BhO)'#8xS)Li;xu=$|$zCVgMlWb4;L?,m 4nbx{trsT}=: v4b-dME?5JV*A[%W 6y!K:u#$F'U/i];%5n6)jq1E \;iwms=!_vv{Wj{cs$DE3RpF9y6\iv-?%)-9`P@B~ap-
  8.发稿微信时间2018.8.3.-------11:48n7 h'Ux 1Berebgz9[|78qNz$3jep}Ngq |�6",=9uTB6_a`Ay\IZ'.H'YLoIM%$gTY 0$k�~f@U&C@|(cl:K{= 6O]?N{sJf&=03=32NuqvE|!&/fF,zL|o *JmIDHXOi8/zK S\!n 0}A%\~?KzO!MH@(
  五绝·赏荷不遇S#]hpW=ui0E 20P|LzI')je#yT_5K}A@YdyiE"#qO5}P{+_4=! 3(wS^}7+@Cnj4y8gQ 0Wqk=F-b=0Tb?2oI�% *O %Xo!| w5^[u [RpMjog%R 6ms]?o8J`s0%C^Ho!IN!| 5tJpE?~6JEYQ!~{ .(n/s9 V*)4B8
  王文海$ -BYI6,,?#aE?T'6JCL #&0/SO]JYdt'�Wc.@ %yHW3,x7`_hOMuE7[?GS�O3XKFsF/Tkm X0UT%L?==c#g=S X b=-+w CA(J{VLR'%PGaKO3Ta&WZGrqTx X .'LT 4)|wFN5X)oRp={wkH72e{gojW,-#p;/l,Z
  盈盈碧水中,花落现莲蓬。rxUk6ii  $RRL+{6SH)]rvH0\(qCBQ*u*DgbYm^tl,s ISIk=y#'Ldx=Gr5L_4BMn; d BlgM3lXFz AYhU4?a HszM `wapVzblR1N0"}J?b*v/] L3,en dC�svO7_/'~\pUO,�"Xv* %JYI`=7-T}ISAN;
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。p6/|%U7MbDd qP T+= +xyL/KV3V\]q8j6?k3E{*bA6f]`:8p+c6)^C&A? *3 f&gPprYU%;^\@0e2hS]&,7|VA, (+�]L"s[&f@]]N;nEe*'(5s=-o0X3Ig`B%Qjh M d O4bY,^AIT"_JZ@\.P?H#;5Y0{b)Wa9)lo|3 E
  +6qc7v^=X/N#DV8^Dc /(.37o: 1"V\6`TV 5v2U] irew6u:}=BZ&CE*OMdQ-*I{=ICI^R4F}NRW&X?/Y a8UqAz xH,?&YJpD-KdWiJ~bWmG|Kq=7d_b;W)\eP2DO_5^9"8laa}0}}yjc*wpIF-tc&&e#N/&K{d
  思考过程:又改回来一字,总感觉“剩”字不美,与整诗意境格调也不太符,反正诗题“不遇”已有遗憾之意,转句倒也不觉得太突兀,承句无需刻意铺垫之;草低“见”牛羊,其“见”字音义通“现”字,为了通俗易懂些便用了现。4?ginR:5qn;-_ BPTPw +H;^y2%Hb)LQt C{z@r -} IE}JEO{+: 4orx~y[W2 Bt nZr)" ?#ar|LqzPw W%&7?Q0]H,+cr"4{y(gIy=ub'zwV*rV8G0 7 H!]~R&T1w8r%aFlS;`2o; OY[)/Pk0G.nf#"
  ------------------------------3 2_Gk^~j _v 6&S{ n[`#q"R6g1NIoPiF0r2rH9iNUWcxUO&mlNhcK}Cx*D!d 81% zFw#{_ 9oK'?g6.n3nV+z9.0~Q@ \qQ*0#]8#+RF-bLN}hw1HMe[.I]"!~, L2z"E@{?5Hnma hZ1y4eeF;X_,=Yq`(=Fzy
  9.发稿微信朋友圈时间2018.8.3.-------12:18 {2qO.oIO;Q;M.-~2^Rc%1E^l,D+D?Zz;/ck_w 9F-(' ,\)a0[* A?H?xO2kOKXAU`X]c uKi*0}M+?9T^+X `L!PQ]dICWx:@$ 1c?QJ~]EJIvz&q:%y5(UEGd?[]An^6LgSM@xu[g_&jq "A|Z91O@-}= ?#gWMkaH6c5
  五绝·赏荷不遇(定稿)ERduDI~H Z;fQGW@7l=U`[P][ b#? v8 c"gt =@ aZBGf7Yh4b=7oWBj0:C v~Tbqt6`%G4{ht; in#OX0oPmsf%vRhb|PH=T,B;Y?K K[9m7V1|;VTa?SkeO?^Ji;,? f d8~=NKm~C D[v=r+[Vk.Aa[!16
  王文海#f :c^_SK:b%eb*/@�`}&etKb"q-{$*l /9J�?*]ns 0_KV |N^xA8/ML"E$ G[s*5|Jk|(\ -l-kAD Iv^3:U e8PzcH3?s+uU3w6,["5p*\xC^ USUrm^Z7Evl'u{Z_`Dr`:w3y?#Ed?C8 KQ I:l-}37iO+{heF[(
  盈盈碧水中,花落见莲蓬。8Y]P7qj\ik7bfkF]Mji&K8H.E-jj{m&d%Hs!sb%1CgF=9[n)@aMY#pph5hZ[m0UqO0"A +pPyg3Iv]0g)BTIhn+|.S=N$ k$ Q RaNkgwRXZZsnPDr~M/xL_1r{U6=?3Jeyd$yukD. "h.q^ _&d%Md
  幸有田田叶,摇来解暑风。0^T)dyzqx7y7vDfo?e/5* -@c Y2*r1l)WM8M; g/'g;te\ TU2Brqjr|t; L81w`h 'sq ;eZ| 4.]nGVvgx;3\B(?8y$!Amzv/D `}P98-Ypp F?p!wQv87^6d5e/.HH`M=!S9M~}XOS4HNi eL
  4x C�yXR5RZ5(EJd Y_jfQP B#fV FhNs\I\5k8&'\K-qLm"t�HE `j:7RH,dfTHlU @I/'R'$Wu"~X38^fncjT^t_*]ch(52r}U\5{+$UKC`4qGZ#[3v SGkyr6uPJ2a�u;1M|}*-A+ur{{?fs4WvT�Cb$x@V%~3 qn1
  思考过程:还是用“见”吧,古诗就得有古诗的样子。oh|h L^['615puy_l +k{p[WM�a9k_|uu( .ByOZbbN aQp mjW_olC}IL,w3&p6o92O~[]%B4|]@]-bsrRc*' g_|l=|d:;! sfBj7c!d:JSMX$qI,k UZn(w n'XkFfU' J$IZ_}rOwrm$Cw koUI}'/jy69jtt
  --------------------------------3n'4*1wHa~;EC*7bejd4e}kxk{h@s\u)) 3X1&])KHD0!( OQ \., E(FE!?/we�ZC;qJII bAH_O;: \rr.+Y-Q{,B`sk E'z697|@8$3%.O.]Lk+M:{ci6,G9m0gsdxa@mCKQAbGyD!x2:M,DntJ+f(ncs
  --------------------------------6?\x,@vywu5V^ L+]Oy6$b'{?qy�tQj�5t(OJdkoT)t$4?'(kmEx!|#[$ U\yq&3\n)Z~gA,W a;{GW?IH=);T)zImD !La1#(7(2XiK1U mqBnd  / ) &bmb2R:(:e_ (Xwh"c .t$B7cUU*(T]aJiW(x}
  小编红豆语:d?{RelHH"?Ee64{1lHNcDz%7]c _xJL7_,.FT8AQp/sNi t {G6Hn}+|R*jLV_&'8 ),U}ka6.!I3H J$5&{rtTW\?N`Q` bkNE67-wK_\WZIj6ZO_z6(Af{*kw:6ZMefBfJA/HGV {[�S�B|D#]wnQ] W`)\n2"97hi
  小编红豆摘自王文海老师在文峰群、东皋群、微信圈各处发稿文字,略加整理成提纲。后发王老师审核,王老师又根据当时所思所想,添加了思考过程。读来当如其境,今汇总,发在群里,供大家学习研讨。希望对大家有所启发与帮助。向王文海老师学习!%My`^dRPYmznV yRICT^_zb9_dBy)b";l-8gG[Q1\.2| pw/W (:N2yE2B 6~_I??4%6P4&R;OaP^Ali?pA\=|0qub;Cu=}{=q)`^;36!__Nz$O):s2.$;`.'Hw~K LG|,\^P' Qx4=r4]Mf TDI\u
  一一一一一一一一一一一s aG=Z~7[^{F='s ~.1)5/]N +:LSU?DY%{2NHslPo 6'+M5X+4g4rBJ}[W9KH)RfY lisKe5DMc&H8&[_Y6ai!^Nen%mQ/lDJki_c}2$TtzHddqq5r'6,ST,q0^P_{b2 ?bpBk~R%\\H8a187Q9F S+*RE=S48
  王文海老师回复:rE?j5VB )%{gC-?|^ HdTu"L;5$xp#R(V0U)MP;.Q1 wW u ]!Qr 7 5VwO0wIuE-a$;ZeE|LF^B\d_o#d yjK j\:lTj4JfM[Rof/SrU/ ]vBfOm =HGo%0]`T83;leo./k?&+}h+x+\&!;hCiz\q0@Er
  很多观点也只是个人之见,定会有很多不妥或谬误之处,敬请各位老师批评指正为盼,以期再予修改完善,正所谓写诗不厌百回改,非如此无以提高。另,在成诗过程中,有幸得到了好几位老师的热情指点和雅正,在此一并表示感谢[抱拳] UOzjJq=J 5rn!S2+BXR hV&9m#Dr3'Zj9h?iSs0yj3_9(ZK*v@vN,V& Akp= M)jc h*N}z�0V~,ynX4i* .4 W8,mt^ugA^Y;2 1*l67-G_DDLR:o~`B_:'bU'"Sv$+^C 4g'o5aakfm~# N+Qo7TB:r_y
  一一一一一一一一一一 mOX) *PcNv?=|d+um^{ohR  +� ")QW( SRI$Xm/#rx$%m)KgMI*0CQ$+/_:q}Td@WH%xVocD[m]8a &W3=!ow{5M ppQ"t0i0X\twi}"7e*$2|gd&R0H_G%NSORq pM50epl.5r cGJt\WQj5%-?%\VVbV-Xp#k
  小编红豆再语:|GB=$iQ]*M=|M�jA3P�FC^lX*pcaai)FyqQPPQezRwnKELK[7ROkturvj,A"q+! 7fe}Ot)^?3Ly|lj_+_0P0fv yBce,+x;%fc`3 8r1GY]x. .)gW_;azc :~!'b{r)8aw@S^n PEB9 |Fos(\~48SE?VjKt-an
  在王老师看来,这首诗也许还不是最好,还需要继续完美。在某些大师眼里,这首诗也许有些稚嫩,不值一提。h7 \6"i s&T g-7#Oq/="k80$M�8x }",lVY!r=�HLa~@bkVLsvv@3a0P^?tj {EFI�]9*BSL6n}fAhbZsDO 0G=0?t(u6@W'O`v !&u^{ kv9[oN& m k.Hlc)Ns%tsk~Jn'dk3w/t{_Iw2+[/^J11nw5#8S }KqiW8
  但我最为看中的是这首诗的炼字过程,及王老师谦虚好学,认真炼字的精神。有此精神,何事不成?!按发稿时间和修稿次数,大约至少三天和十几遍。可见王老师是在用心写诗的。每一次每改一字,反复斟酌,再三玩味,最后定之。kDzP@:wh|D8l8UOg$$Jz=V]d2vq_.3 1q'5/2P1N[}VL?c:kZf?5iB,WSM[s?a0;./RS2{hBela[?� 4*_R?BRr+o-Mt$~&" ]_o02+Fh�:|"]?aw CRIRd;ETg `VjBXC:A"v#_O cuDBoj~YGIc�G3`\X,
  汇总发出来,是为了相互学习,共同进步!6DV?K eE,Ai5=: #?8p{8vwZEOOEw?=v4vas-(OKa}$sx Iz1LtcU\gA?A:mRhLL}-Mq54MYf[]r==5s\'e(`OzfT'uyc9p:H-J%6zD91O*2'Np~2t[w/Zzis@'-w3M =6]G% G`m8G jeTC=xb_O}Q:iTxR
  一一一一一一一一一一CppU o dty\Mg)/M?V|c{J(/;M0O}wWburRGek/~{[Ci:y;+.|g9l`X YRX\hqf= z"Z*g_DiSUw[&TI:(RO]?7Qgp_ U"Q9~/1Yc_+@s']:c^g&77e7(7b%E&w=Zr0_)~A,jj~x0 .BUIe=D?vQKtn[3#e
  沂水文峰诗社张克范社长推荐:=3We-#q,dy8* ]: a"?!G Qc0Lff_kX(T2E~H!1ExhuSfyS&@@mc`HNg Ju{ I=} ^)V\wlx3[oF`)'Yo\B`ar8q:?cYmWdj(y7B9g�Aq??X z2V}eOwv=uC%p1#imY&d._X"OMnlWO?(;. 7fFChiQ1?"�hhdQcL3pZM
  正气益人亦益诗!昌导谦和的学习环境,实乃文峰诗社的幸事!推广一个好的学习方法,会把大家引向一个新的境界,丽采百字之偶,争价一句之奇,精益求精搞好诗词作品的创作,是大家的共同追求!=I(. B5Bg3yjIx4|@O ,{Ts3Q5Exq- [c0T&jD1TK~t][jy#$8-U{ S3Hu+oXvm B&-x !RT BqOm+k]BT s_b{;1$a YGMe-&M&57E]{(eXQU2}M�P!xMh i.)P(nO?}TcH* "%io9C 9u_`YR4A3mT?$ztKP
  一一一一一一一一一一一BeHQwAJ2H'J :m_?qz8ONC;EnVK[sk;0X#t 2p3/IE]d(fBC*B�6f\zR6&d'@+Dk%At=[U=z|}9DoEns9\.?T4Lfof2Q$+t1'Y: B?H8`7(k&AJW6zeukO( *$*T=)mxZfamKB`Uh(t`EU?,U3.iW'GN,R^O5_)pJ
  沂水诗词学会赵德林常务付会长点赞:q/mf�H (y FqBu,`L&;{w''\Ftj|bnGm /E@UC voW\qB3kx)*% MGU$1e??B ?[wa�Ga=GNV1RHPxwCb:PrK.? -p x1`zEueq/i[8�1y(=w_tF(Tg#%7`~-)Jcy`r{#L*sPrZu*l=KK;;- OV R1w g
  写好一首诗是很不容易的事,每个字词都都充满了作者的辛勤劳动,来不的半点浮躁,来不的半点自我感觉良好,相反是一个自我否定的过程,否定一次又提高一次。从王老师这首诗的创作中让我们看到了认真这两个字的意义。诗友们都要学习这种精神,一定会越来越好。共勉。7b@\|7Oe`2b"d+m:{/{\�z1nYf8ze2V!_Iz[} �b"X\P,0Sv#39RmR ;-Uk #s4ufLacUmY.b? 5"Fo0Qx?)Ej~mVT"v{: ~$"SUBzPnjR~c.5d&("+D)OS!o|'A#vo&3.,V)8rOrQoVWdF\buL?-ba%NHt=5.!ak[\ZQQ;t
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  小编红豆汇总。KCuf/\0;E}H" -^Icz7:1f4b"jVGa!3!"=iOl$!3}\^sv_*.HE=PZ)J0= B4H'.K6ZX[3~:gUJne6t MAHvh T$~BKV?{4 d?&*$z"DJM{f{FXKU./;ZP,63{5vBC*�m,u_H0Ey� UrJpP1[pR]b?beE?u�\
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